ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
