If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
