I molested 6 butterflies tonight
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
