It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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