My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize