Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
