I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
