you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
