White coat. Heels.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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