peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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