I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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