Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
