The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
