Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize