nutella sex= disaster
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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