I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize