Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
