Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
