I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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