So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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