You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
