Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You pole danced in your parka.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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