At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
