you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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