the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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