i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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