And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
