in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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