I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
