normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
