I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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