There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
