if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
