I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize