she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
