You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
