"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
