I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
