You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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