haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
