margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
