Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
