you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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