I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize