I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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