We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
