My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
