I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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