Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
