I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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