I bet he comes in French.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
