hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
