so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
