Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
