She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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