Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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