i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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