just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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